THE EXPLOSIVE REVIEW

Starring: Sean Connery, Charles Gray, Jill St. John, Jimmy Dean, Bruce Glover, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewelyn, Norman Burton, Joe Robinson, Lana Wood, Bruce Cabot, Leonard Barr, Laurence Naismith, Lola Larson, and Trina Parks.

Directed by: Guy Hamilton.

Sean Connery returns for one final appearance as James Bond in the franchise’s seventh entry titled “Diamonds Are Forever”. Joining him is the magnificent directing of Guy Hamilton once again (who previously directed the mega Bond film, “Goldfinger”) and Bond’s arch nemesis and main villain from the past two films, Blofeld. This time, Bond goes undercover as a diamond thief in order to infiltrate a ring of smugglers whom he soon discovers to be under the leadership of none other than Blofeld himself, whom is planning to use diamonds to construct a huge laser satellite in space that he could use to hold the entire planet ransom.

The film opens with an adrenaline rush - Bond is intent on finding Blofeld after the events of the previous film. Soon enough, he tracks Blofeld down to a hideaway where he is trying to mold a copy/clone of himself for extra protection. Bond is fooled at first by a henchman posing as Blofeld inside a molding bath, then he is confronted by Blofeld whom he ultimately defeats (but don’t worry, you haven’t seen the last of him in this film, stay tuned). The story moves on, sending Bond to Las Vegas, introducing us to Bond girl, Tiffany Case (played by Jill St. John), and cartoonish villains such as the assassins duo Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint, not to mention, a pair of skimpy athletic female bodyguards called Bambi and Thumper. Blofeld eventually resurfaces, not just Blofeld alone, however, but two of them. Apparently, there’s three of them - the one Bond kills in the beginning, a second copy (which Bond also dispatches of), and then the original one. Throw into the mix a moon buggy chase in the desert, a classic car chase sequence through Las Vegas, a showdown on an oil rig, and plenty of silly moments (a bit too silly).

The problem with this film is that it pales in comparison to, not only previous Bond hits, but the one that came right before it, “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”. In that film, Bond’s character was explored a bit more deeply, he seemed human and vulnerable, he found a woman whom he married and cherished as his equal, only to lose her in the end to his nemesis Blofeld. That film and this one simply don’t match up, which leads me to the opening of “Diamonds Are Forever” - It is both good and bad. Good, because its heart pumping and it gets your attention; bad, because it’s obvious they were trying to conclude Bond’s settlement with Blofeld, for killing his wife last time around, within in the first ten minutes. How ridiculous.

United Artists was trying to take our minds off of “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”, which was a fantastic Bond film, due to the fact that George Lazenby (the actor who played Bond in that movie) gave up the role based on his agent’s advice (he convinced him that Bond would not last long as a profitable franchise in the 70s and on out, look how wrong he was). There is not one mention or one moment for Bond to reminisce of his dead wife, not even when Bond runs into Blofeld again later on in the film. While “Diamonds Are Forever” was a very commercial success, the film’s humorous tones met with cold feet. It is easily a very forgettable Bond film.

Rating: **1/2

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