THE EXPLOSIVE REVIEW

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Rose Byrne, Chandler Canterbury, and Lara Robinson.

Directed by: Alex Proyas.

Story:
50 years ago, an Elementary school class buries their images of the future in a time capsule. Jump to present day, the time capsule is opened by the new students and John Koestler’s son receives a message with bunch of numbers on it which turn out to be dates of disastrous events that are to take place.

Characters:
*John Koestler (Nicolas Cage): An MIT professor of astrophysics.
*Diana Wayland (Rose Byrne): Daughter of Lucinda.
*Caleb Koestler (Chandler Canterbury): John’s son.
*Lucinda Embry (Lara Robinson): The young girl who wrote the numeric message 50 years ago.
*Abby Wayland (Lara Robinson): Diana’s daughter.

Overall:
“Knowing” is an original sci-fi/disaster film (surprise, surprise for 2009!) that tells of an apocalypse to come. See, the young girl who wrote the numeric message found in the time capsule was mentally ill and often heard whispering voices from beings that are not of this Earth. It is the goal of this so-called race of beings ,or rather ‘whisper people’ as they are called here, to warn humanity of future catastrophic events.

The numbers include the month, day, and year that the events are supposed to occur as well as the longitude and latitude of where it will occur. Oh yes and it also tells you the number of people who will die from a specific event. Every major disaster you can think of can be found within these numbers - September 11th, the Oklahoma bombings, everything and anything you’ve heard of in the past fifty years. However, there are three dates in particular which have yet to come and that is what the film focuses on. There’s an airplane crash involving a major highway jam, then there’s a major New York City subway accident that is reminiscent of (if not, more grandiose than) the incident in “Die Hard With A Vengeance”. The third and final event is the apocalypse itself and it comes straight from the Book of Revelations, involving a reenactment of ‘Noah’s Flood’ except this time, the water is replaced with fire (giant solar flare, anyone?).

“Knowing” is a film that keeps you piqued until the very end, wanting to know just what the heck is going to happen and what these characters are going to do about these inevitable events as the final one is the most challenging of all. The last ten minutes or so contain the most surreal, chilling, and haunting apocalyptic images ever depicted on screen (I won’t say much, but if you want to know the true definition of ‘global fire’, then you will find certainly find out here). There is a glimmer of hope in the very last shot and it comes straight out of the Book of Revelations.

Nicolas Cage and Rose Byrne deliver very satisfying and sympathetic performances here. The story works for the most part, with the exception of the origin of the ‘whisper people’, that was a little awkward at first but takes some getting used to as the film goes on. The subway disaster feels a bit like a rehash of the one from “Die Hard With A Vengeance”, granted that “Knowing” does a lot more with its range of special effects, however, the one from “Die Hard With A Vengeance” was simply shot in a more realistic fashion. Nevertheless, none of this should stop you from seeing and enjoying this thrilling sci-fi/apocalyptic film.

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Malin Akerman, Patrick Wilson, Jackie Earle Haley, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Carla Gugino, Matt Frewer, Stephen McHattie, Danny Woodburn, Niall Matter, Dan Payne, Apollonia Vanova, Glenn Ennis, Darryl Scheelar, and Doug Chapman.

Directed by: Zack Snyder.

Story:
In an alternate 1985, vigilantes have changed and aided the course of history throughout World War II, Vietnam, etc. As the Cold War increases tensions between the Soviet Union and the United States, a group of former vigilantes investigate a murder conspiracy against one of their slain members and uncover something far more sinister.

Characters:
*Laurie Juspeczyk/Silk Spectre II (Malin Akerman): The only woman in the ‘Watchmen’ group. She finds herself often caught between the odd but intelligent Dr. Manhattan and the human but normal Nite Owl II. She dresses like Storm from “X-Men”.
*Daniel Dreiberg/Nite Owl II (Patrick Wilson): The guy who looks like Batman in his outfit. He seems to have a thing for Silk Spectre II.
*Walter Kovacs/Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley): A masked vigilante who continues to be a vigilante long after vigilantes have been outlawed from the world. He narrates the whole story. This is the guy who looks like a cross between “Darkman” and Madonna’s Breathless from “Dick Tracy”.
*Dr. Jon Osterman/Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup): An omnipresent glowing blue superhero commissioned by the US government. He spends his time trying to solve scientific matters such as the energy crisis as well as trying to reunite with his ex-flame, Silk Spectre II. This is the guy who is kinda reminiscent of the villainous Apocalypse from the X-Men.
*Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias (Matthew Goode): Retired superhero turned millionaire whom has no problem making his identity public. This is the guy who looks like Chris O’Donnell aka Robin from “Batman & Robin”.
*Edward Blake/The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan): A vigilante commissioned by the US government. He likes to do things his own way. The whole plot is based around him as he is murdered in the opening scene, he is only seen through flashbacks after that (which sucks, by the way). This is the guy who looks like Robert Downey Jr.

Overall:
Wow, there is not one ounce of ADD present in any of this film’s camera shots, I am shocked about this, considering that 99.9% of all films today are usually diagnosed with those types of shots. Well, that’s one of the good points about “Watchmen”. That aside though, it’s a film with a unique and uncommercial approach that strives to stand out amongst most of the garbage you see out there nowadays, I have to give many props to director Zack Snyder for doing this, I would have never expected it.

The entire film is one oddly interesting visual extravaganza, it looks a lot like a graphic novel at times. Unfortunately, it’s let down by some things such as the fact that most of the movie is a flashback-esque story that’s set in the present, but 80% of the film is about the past. Snyder should have just did that story instead of the 1985 one; then, make the 1985 story as the basis for the sequel with the heroes retired and one of them murdered at the beginning, etc.

Also, some of these costumes are just plain out awkward. You’ve got a guy who dresses like “Batman”, a girl who dresses a bit like Storm from “X-Men”, a guy who looks like Chris O’ Donnell’s Robin from “Batman & Robin”, a guy who dresses like “Darkman”, and an omnipresent glowing blue man who often reminds me of one of the X-Men’s villains, Apocalypse. I’m not sure if the original comic creators intentionally did this as some kind of ode or symbolism to their identical counterparts or what. Hey, if that’s the case, I’ll just gather up Freddy, Jason, Michael, Leatherface, and the Fly, make characters that look similar to them, and call it “Boogymen”.

“Watchmen” does have a fantastic unspoken message about how a movie should be shot, however, I will definitely give it that. But this film, overall, would have faired much better if it wasn’t a mostly flashback type of story. Nevertheless, thank you very much, Zack Snyder, for reminding the new era of Hollywood that it is possible to shoot an action sequence without an annoying shaky camera.

Rating: ***

Starring: Peter Sellers, Robert Webber, Herbert Lom, Robert Loggia, Paul Stewart, and Dyan Cannon.

Directed by: Blake Edwards.

Story:
Businessman Philippe Douvier (Webber) has ties to the New York Mafia and is sealing a deal for a highly profitable drug-smuggling opeartion with them. Thinking he may be too old and therefore not up to the task, Douvier sets out to prove his worthiness by taking out Chief Inspector Clouseau (Sellers) once and for all. Douvier’s assassination attempts force Clouseau to dip into his bag of wits and tricks to thwart his new nemesis.
But when Clouseau accidentally slips out of one of Douvier’s biggest traps, he is deemed dead and his ex-boss Charles Dreyfus (Lom) is deemed sane and released from the mental asylum to be assigned to the case. Clouseau resurfaces and, with the help of Cato and Douvier’s mistress Simone, he seeks out his revenge on Douvier and attempts to sabotage his drug operation.

Characters:
*Inspector Clouseau (Peter Sellers): The one and only, the legendary bumbling French accented detective who survives without effort and gets into trouble almost everywhere he goes.
*Ex-Commissioner Charles Dreyfus (Herbert Lom): Clouseau’s ex-boss who turned villain in the last film, he is now a crazed inpatient locked up at a mental institution. But soon he becomes reinstated as Inspector after Clouseau is believed to be dead.
*Cato (Burt Kwouk): Clouseau’s long-time tormented servant returns once again for more hilarious and torturous exercises.
*Simone LeGree (Dyan Cannon): Douvier’s very, very hot sexpot Mistress.
*Philippe Douvier (Robert Webber): An insecure drug lord who is intent on taking out Clouseau by any means necessary.

Overall:
As the sixth film in the ‘Pink Panther’ series, “Revenge of the Pink Panther” marks the last appearance of Peter Sellers in the role of Clouseau before his unfortunate death in real life - MGM never experienced box office success with any other film in the franchise after this one until the 2006 remake. This is also the third film in the series that has absolutely no relation to the Pink Panther jewel from the first film.

“Revenge of the Pink Panther” isn’t as shabby and hilarious as the previous entry, “The Pink Panther Strikes Again”, but it displays enough wit and humor to keep it afloat and make it just as interesting and funny to watch. Sellers’ character never gets boring and the comedy gags can still hit all the right spots, this time they range from Clouseau being robbed at gunpoint by a transvestite who eventually falls for the trap that was set for Clouseau, Dreyfus’ many accidental encounters with Clouseau, Dovuier’s assassination attempts on Clouseau, and much more.

The villain Douvier doesn’t top Clouseau’s arch-nemesis and former boss, Charles Dreyfus, who played the main bad guy last time around. However, fortunately enough, Dreyfus is definitely in this one and plays no small role either - Due to the events of the last film, his character was locked away in an asylum, but here he is deemed sane and released to solve the Douvier case after Clouseau is believed to be dead, but the truth is he’s still alive so both Clouseau and Dreyfus are unknowingly trying to solve the same case and keep running into each other. The Pink Panther series gets its revenge here with a barrel of laughs.

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Robert Forster, Robin Riker, Michael V. Gazzo, Dean Jagger, Sydney Lassick, Jack Carter, Perry Lang, Henry Silva, Bart Braverman, James Ingersoll, Robert Doyle, and Patti Jerome.

Directed by: Lewis Teague.

Story:
A teenage girl purchases a baby alligator during vacation with her family in Florida. After returning to Chicago, Ramon the alligator (that’s what she names it) gets flushed down the toilet by her father who is an animal phobic of sorts. The baby alligator ends up in the city’s sewers. Twelve years later, the alligator has survived and has recently begun feeding on covertly discarded corpses of other pets that were the guinea pigs for an experimental growth formula. As a result, the gator is now approximately 30-40 feet long.

When the gator begins picking off humans, it grabs the attention of police officer David Madison who seems to have a bad reputation for losing his assigned partners after a botched case in St. Louis. Madison soon meets reptile expert Marisa Kendall, who turns out to be the teenage girl from the beginning; when the gator soon reaches the surface of the city for new territory, they must team up to track down and kill the alligator before it causes any further harm.

Characters:
*David Madison (Robert Forster): A police officer with a bad stroke of luck for losing all the partners that he’s assigned, whether it’s a botched case from his past or from an alligator.
*Marisa Kendall (Robin Riker): The gorgeous eye candy, err, reptile expert whose father is responsible for the alligator ending up in the sewer in the first place.
*Chief Clark (Michael V. Gazzo): Madison’s supervisor who could also pass for Lil’ Wayne’s father if he keeps up that voice.
*Slade (Dean Jagger): The local tycoon who is also responsible for the alligator as he is the one secretly disposing of pets who were the results of his growth experiments.
*Col. Brock (Henry Silva): A big game animal hunter who is hired to track and kill the animal.
*Thomas Kemp (Bart Braverman): A nosy tabloid reporter who gets a little too deep in the sewer for his own good.
*Bill Kendall (Robert Doyle): Marisa’s animal phobic father who flushed the alleged alligator down the toilet in the beginning.
*Mrs. Madeline Kendall (Patti Jerome): Marisa’s mother who loves to talk non-stop.

Overall:
I had no idea that a “Jaws” clone existed until I watched “Alligator”. Roy Schieder is replaced by Robert Forster, the shark by an alligator, and the water by a city/sewer environment. The film is pretty much predictable, I really don’t have to tell you what happens when and where, just watch “Jaws”. However, the film’s intentional humor and wit does work, but it certainly reeks of low budget cliche-ness all throughout. Some parts are just boring, take the opening sequence and the first act for instance.

The film does get interesting when the creature decides to come up to the city surface for new territory, providing a full-length shot of the alligator that looks like it’s eerily out of one of today’s big special effects shots. “Jaws” is simply a better and far more interesting film to watch than this trite, “Alligator” is nowhere near being special. The final shot of the movie has to be the most cliche of them all. Who knows, maybe the film might turn into something scary if it was flushed down the toilet as well.

Rating: ***

Starring: William Holden, Lee Grant, Jonathan Scott-Taylor, John J. Newcombe, Lucas Donat, Leo McKern, Robert Foxworth, Nicholas Pryor, Sylvia Sidney, Lew Ayres, Lance Henriksen, Elizabeth Shephard, Meshach Taylor, Ian Hendry, and Allan Arbus.

Directed by: Don Taylor.

Story:
Nearly a week after the death of Robert Thorn and his wife, two men who have learned the true identity of Damien Thorn (who now lives with Robert’s brother, Richard Thorn, in Chicago) and the deaths he has caused attempt to bring Richard a package explaining everything and to warn him. However, one of the men remains unconvinced, so they pay a visit to the ruins of Tel Megiddo to show him proof. While inside, the entire tomb collapses, killing them both.

Seven years after, Damien is now 13 and living with his father’s brother in Chicago, Richard Thorn, a wealthy industrialist. Also living with him is Richard’s wife, Ann, and his son from his first marriage, Mark. Damien, along with Mark, both attend military academy. Damien’s Aunt Marion is not so fond of him and his influence on Mark and therefore attempts to cut off his inheritance unless he is transferred to another school. While Richard Thorn plans tentative moves to expand his Thorn Industries operations into Third World agriculture, little does he know, it is all for the benefit of Damien so that he claims his place with the ten kingdoms on Earth.

Characters:
*Carl Bugenhagen (Leo McKern): A man who is well aware of Damien’s identity and tries to convince Michael to warn Richard.
*Michael Morgan (Ian Hendry): A journalist who is unconvinced of Damien’s identity.
*Richard Thorn (William Holden): The brother of Damien’s deceased father who runs his own company, Thorn Industries.
*Ann Thorn (Lee Grant): Richard’s wife, apparently, she’s not all she seems to be either.
*Damien Thorn (Jonathan Scott-Taylor): The now matured and teenage soon-to-be Anti-Christ.
*Sergeant Daniel Neff (Lance Henriksen): The young Lance Henriksen - here, he is one of Damien’s evil helpers.
*Dr. Charles Warren (Nicholas Pryor): Richard’s closest friend.
*Bill Atherton (Lew Ayres): One of Richard’s associates who is against the company’s agricultural plans.
*Dr. William Kane (Meshach Taylor): A doctor who discovers some strange inhuman things about Damien after taking a blood sample.
*Joan Hart (Elizabeth Shephard): Journalist who tries to warn Richard.
*Aunt Marion (Sylvia Sidney): Damien’s aunt who doesn’t approve of him and thinks he’s a bad influence.
*Paul Buher (Robert Foxworth): Another Thorn associate who is also a helper of Damien.
*Mark Thorn (Lucas Donat): Damien’s brother.
*Teddy (John J. Newcombe): One of Damien’s classmates at the military academy who doesn’t like him very much.
*David Pasarian (Allan Arbus): Sharing Bill’s viewpoints and opinions, he takes Bill’s place after he dies.

Overall:
“Damien: Omen II” may not be perfect, but it expands on the classic original in several ways and provides a bit more depth in a now teenage Damien Thorn. The sequel contains more horrific deaths, more evil bad guys, and even more special effects than the first. In the original, Damien had the help of an evil babysitter and a dog; this time, Damien is aided by a new batch of evil, disguised minions this time around - Paul Buher, an associate in Richard Thorn’s company and Sergeant Daniel Neff who is Damien’s mentor at the military academy - both make sure that Damien avoids arousing any attention or suspicion until the timing is right, which he does unintentionally on a few occasions throughout the film.

Damien soon begins to realize who he truly is and what is to become of him which he doesn’t accept at first - This was a very interesting aspect of the film. As more people are out to stop Damien from fulfilling his destiny this time around, the special effects guys certainly had a ball with this film as they got to kill more people than in the original - Two guys are buried alive in sand and debris within a collapsing tomb, an old lady has a heart attack while trying to get rid of an evil crow, a woman is hit by a truck after her eyes are plucked out by a batch of crows, a man falls through ice while skating and drowns, a man and his assistant die from inhaling poisonous fumes at an industry plant, a man is split in half horizontally by a falling elevator cable, and another man is impaled between two train cars - That’s just to name a few.

Richard Donner’s directing is absent due to his commitment to the “Superman” film at the time, here he is replaced by Don Taylor who had a reputation for finishing films on a timely budget and schedule. Jerry Goldsmith’s spooky music is definitely back. Much like the original, evil triumphs once again in this series, leading to a future sequel - Why should one be surprised? One doesn’t have to guess the ending of “Damien: Omen II”, I mean after all, it is in the book of revelations - It’s his destiny.

Rating: ***

Starring: David Niven, Peter Sellers, Robert Wagner, Capucine, Brenda De Banzie, Colin Gordon, John Le Mesurier, James Lanphier, Guy Thomajan, Michael Trubshawe, Riccardo Billi, Meri Welles, Martin Miller, Fran Jeffries, and Claudia Cardinale.

Directed by: Blake Edwards

Story:
The young Princess Dala receives a gift from her father, the Shah of Lugash, the world’s largest diamond that has an unusual flaw: the discoloration of a leaping pink panther can be perceived when looking deeply into the stone. Years later, the Princess has grown up into a young woman; meanwhile, rebels of Lugash seize power and the Pink Panther diamond is on their list of high demands, however, Princess Dala will stop at nothing to hand it over. She leaves on a getaway holiday at Cortina d’Ampezzo, an exclusive skiing resort. Also vacationing there is Sir Charles Lytton, a British playboy living a secret life as ‘The Phantom’, a jewel thief who is also after the Pink Panther diamond. Yet at the same time, Lytton’s American playboy nephew, George, accompanies him to the resort as well in an attempt to also snag the pink jewel and blame it on the Phantom, but George doesn’t realize that his uncle is actually the Phantom himself.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau of the French Police has made capturing the Phantom his life’s work. He comes close to stopping the theft attempts but his clueless and clumsy habits cause him to pay attention to everything but the right place. Also oblivious to him is the fact that his wife, Simone, is helping Charles commit his crimes.

Characters:
*Sir Charles Lytton (David Niven): A British playboy who leads a double life, the second of which being a well-known jewel thief known as the Phantom. He is hot on the trail of the Pink Panther diamond.
*Inspector Jacques Clouseau (Peter Sellers): The clueless detective caught up in the middle of all of this. As always, he makes us laugh, question, and at the same time, smack ourselves in the head.
*George Lytton (Robert Wagner): Charles’ nephew, who is also a playboy (albeit an American one), however, he is also a thief who wants the jewel for himself and in return blame its disappearance on the Phantom - not knowing that his own uncle IS the Phantom.
*Simone Clouseau (Capucine): Clouseau’s wife who happens to be an accomplice to Sir Charles aka The Phantom. Of course, her husband doesn’t know about this.
*Princess Dala (Claudia Cardinale): The Princess of Lugash whom the Pink Panther jewel belongs to. She is one hot dark-eyed, dark-haired babe.

Overall:
This is the first film in “The Pink Panther” franchise which depicted the clueless and bumbling Inspector Clouseau and his many misadventures to locate and retrieve the Pink Panther diamond. This first entry introduces the main character quite well, however, the film’s first half almost suffers from complete boredom with the exception of whenever Inspector Clouseau is present. There’s too many long dialogue sequences and one or two musical numbers which could have been left out on the cutting room floor.

However, the second half of the film features way more comedic moments and situations, it injects a lot more of that laughing juice which was missing earlier - There’s an anti-climatic sequence in Clouseau’s room where his wife is juggling hiding places for the two thieves (because she is an accomplice) and trying to keep them out of sight from her husband, scenes like this is what makes the franchise what it is. Also notable is the climatic end sequence at the costume party in the mansion which ends in a multi-car chase, talk about action packed with a barrel of laughs. The ending, unfortunately, isn’t picked up upon in its sequel (”A Shot In The Dark”) and makes us assume what happened.

This first film does not feature Clouseau’s servant Cato (Burt Kwouk) and his boss Commissioner Dreyfus (Herbert Lom) who can’t stand him, and it is the only film not to feature them. Their presence is very much missed here, that is if you watched the others before this one, however, looking back, this film would have been a lot more lively if they had been included here.

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith, Edi Gathegi, Tom Atkins, Betsy Rue, Kevin Tighe, Marc Macaulay, Megan Boone, and Richard John Walters.

Directed by: Patrick Lussier.

Story:
Eleven years ago, the north side of a mine caved in, trapping six miners within. By the time the rescue crew reached them, five of them were found slaughtered by a pickaxe. Harry Warden, the sixth miner, survived but continued on in a coma. Suspect Tom Hanniger is believed to have been the murderer although he is eventually flamed for the mine disaster itself due to the fact that he forgot to vent the methane lines.

One year later on Valentine’s Day, Harry Warden awakens from his coma and escapes the hospital, slaughtering more victims along the way. Meanwhile, a bunch of teenagers including Axel, his girlfriend Irene, Tom Hanniger, and his girlfriend Sarah, are all throwing a party at the site of the abandoned mineshaft. After they lose one another inside the mine, they stumble across another teenager who is then stabbed behind his head through his eye by the masked Harry Warden decked out in full miner gear and carrying a big axe. The group is chased by Warden until the police arrive and shoot the killer whom escapes somewhere in the mine.

Ten years later, Tom’s estranged father passes away, allowing him to inherit the mine. Axel has become the town sherif, now married to Sarah. Low and behold, the murders start once again - First Irene is killed, then a miner in the mineshaft. Axel confronts his father, the retired Sheriff, about what happened to Harry Warden and he tells them that Harry was killed and buried. However, upon digging up Warden’s grave, Axel and friends discover no body at all…

Characters:
*Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles): Tom inherits the mineshaft from his estranged father after he passes away. He wants to sell the mine and seems to be the suspect of the new murders as they all tend to follow him around.
*Sarah Palmer (Jaime King): Axel’s wife who isn’t very bright, waits until the last minute to shoot the killer, runs and falls at all the predictable moments.
*Axel Palmer (Kerr Smith): The new town Sheriff. He thinks Tom is the new killer.
*Deputy Martin (Edi Gathegi): Axel’s police partner.
*Burke (Tom Atkins): Axel’s father, former town Sheriff.
*Irene Sparco (Betsy Rue): Tom’s girlfriend who spends a lot of time naked on screen.
*Harry Warden (Richard John Walters): The butcher of the film who started it all - dressed in full miner garb and armed with a pickaxe.

Overall:
“My Bloody Valentine 3D” is a remake of the original 1981 film which was part of the huge slasher craze in the late 70s to 80s. I personally have not seen the original but plan to watch and review that very soon. This remake, which is both available in 2D and 3D formats, is the first R-Rated film to utilize the brand new Real D technology (Thank God!) which was previously used in “Journey to the Center of the Earth” (2008). Here I will be reviewing the 3D aspect and the story aspect separately.

First off, the 3D - Simply amazing. This film plays this new technology to the hilt - You will have tree branches, gun barrels, blood-dripping pickaxes, body parts, and much more leaping out of the screen at you. The director takes full advantage of the depth-of-field illusion as well - ever wonder what it would be like to endure long views of torn chest cavities with missing hearts? Here is your answer. This 3D package will make you forget all about “Friday the 13th Part 3D” (1982) and “Jaws 3D” (1983). This is gore that you can believe in. The glasses are extremely light-weight although not paper thin, they are a lot like a thick pair of sunglasses or prescription glasses as a matter of fact. They certainly need to film more R-rated projects like this and better with the Real D technology, it’s getting real tiring to see such state-of-the-art 3D go to waste on asinine animated films and PG flicks (Reminder to Hollywood: ADULTS love 3D too! Just in case you forgot).

Now, the story itself - A cliched and conventional 1980s slasher horror flick, much like the original. Although here, it feels like it offers nothing new as a remake aside from the fact that it’s in 3D. The film feels a lot like “Scream” (1996) at times as it tries to confuse us as to who the killer is and even borrows a scene from the climax. It can be a bit boring at times actually, this would get old very fast in 2D format. Sorry, but just because you remade a film in 3D, that doesn’t mean you just leave the film the way it is as far as the story plays out. Why not try something new? Why not? Because they don’t care, this is a 3D remade cash-in attempt. Most annoyingly of all is the Sarah character - she is straight out of a 1980s slasher flick - I can’t tell you how many times I screamed at her to shoot the gun, to run, or to get the hell up!

Be sure to get a taste of this new 3D technology in R-rated style while it lasts. As far as the DVD release goes, I’d say skip it.

Rating: ***