THE EXPLOSIVE REVIEW

Starring: Richard Dreyfuss, Francois Truffaut, Melinda Dillion, Cary Guffey, Teri Garr, and Bob Balaban.

Directed By: Steven Spielberg.

Story:
In the opening of “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”, strange things are already happening before our eyes - First, in the Sonoran Desert, a lost squadron of fully operational World War II aircraft are discovered but its crew is still missing; secondly, two airline flights almost collide mid-air with a UFO in Indianapolis, Indiana; then, a three year old boy is drawn out of his home when his toys starting acting on their own behalf in Muncie, Indiana; and if all that wasn’t enough, the state of Indiana undergoes a large-scale power outage, during which an electrical lineman (Dreyfuss) soon finds himself caught up in a motorized pursuit of a group of UFOs.

The electrical lineman, Roy Neary, soon becomes obsessed with UFOs, for better and for worse - the latter especially for his wife, Veronica “Ronnie” Neary (Garr). Before you know it, Roy is making scale models of strange geologic formations he’s never seen before but has become fascinated with - the image in question here is that of a weird looking mountain. It’s not long before Gillian (Dillion), the three year old’s mother, bares witness to a UFO landing herself (to which her son is abducted) and begins doing the same thing as Roy. Roy’s eccentric behavior only gets worse, causing his wife to abandon him, taking the kids with her. Roy and Gillian, at the same time, soon spot something similar to the models they’ve been envisioning on a TV news show: The Devils Tower National Monument in Wyoming. The both of them, along with a group of others with similar visions, make their way toward the site; meanwhile, UFO activity all over the globe increases, making themselves more noticeable.

Characters:
*Roy Neary (Richard Dreyfuss): An electrical lineman who becomes obsessed with the UFOs.
*Claude Lacombe (Francois Truffant): French Government Scientist who’s investigating UFO activity in the US.
*Gillian Guiler (Melinda Dillon): The single mother of Barry. She also becomes obsessed with the UFOs much like Roy does.
*Barry Guiler (Cary Guffey): Gillian’s young son who gets abducted halfway through the film.
*Veronica ‘Ronnie’ Neary (Teri Garr): Roy’s wife who’s being driven insane by his obsession and wants nothing but for him to forget about it.
*David Laughlin (Bob Balaban): Mr. Lacombe’s assistant and translator.

Overall:
“Close Encounters of the Third Kind” was a much long-cherished film project for Steven Spielberg which had been in the works since 1973. The story and elements may sound and seem a bit on The X-Files side, but this is before X-Files and the material in question is handled a whole lot better here by Mr. Spielberg. Rather than putting the main focus on the aliens, he puts it on how life changes for Roy and Gillian because of the aliens and their presence. The script pulls enough strings to draw us into the minds of these two people, particularly Roy, and their life-altering obsession with the visions brought on by the aliens.

The third act is a special effects extravaganza. Yes, we do see the aliens; yes, they look somewhat similar to the ‘grays’ that we are all familiar with and have become accustomed to seeing in media, however, their appearance and execution is handled with much care and uniqueness, once again, a huge thanks to Mr. Spielberg. There is no war, explosions, or fighting to be found here, this is not “Independence Day”, this is the ultimate UFO obsession motion picture.

Rating: ****

Starring: Michael York, Richard Jordan, Jenny Agutter, Peter Ustinov, and Farrah Fawcett.

Directed By: Michael Anderson.

Story:
In the 23rd Century, the world has fallen due to overpopulation, pollution, and war. The last survivors continue life inside a giant domed city, putting the world outside behind them. Within their contained ecologically balanced world, the human race lives for the sake of pleasure, the only problem is: Once you turn thirty, you must die or become born again in a fiery ritual known as the Carousel.

Characters:
*Logan (Michael York): A sandman turned fugitive.
*Francis (Richard Jordan): Logan’s best friend, also a sandman, who pursues him.
*Jessica (Jenny Agutter): A woman who holds the secret to finding sanctuary, also on the run with Logan.
*Box (Roscoe Lee Browne): A large cyborg gone insane.
*Old Man (Peter Ustinov): An elderly man living outside of the domed city whom Logan and Jessica meet and partner up with.

Overall:
Welcome to the world of “Logan’s Run”. Based on the novel by George Clayton Johnson, the story centers around Logan 5 (Michael York) who is a sandman - the police, so to speak, of the domed world, although instead of providing ’sleep’, they provide termination for ‘runners’ (the thirty-year old citizens who refuse to become reborn in the Carousel) - He often wonders what exactly is beyond the domed city and what actually happens to people on the Carousel, but his fellow friend Francis 7 (Richard Jordan) always assumes the obvious and reminds him not to bother with such questions.

We are treated to a carousel sequence early on in the film after the first scene - While the effects and such seem a little dated here (as it does in other places), the whole concept depicted here actually seems pretty scary - It is never mentioned whether the carousel brings survival or reincarnation to its members, but it takes place inside a large circular arena where the participants are decked out in white hoods, face masks and bodysuits painted with flames. The floor rotates while the participants float upwards toward a huge rosette on the ceiling of the arena. While floating up, they are each vaporized one by one while everyone watching cheers and chants “Renew!”

Sometime later, Logan finds himself ‘in the mood’ so he looks for a woman on what’s known as “the circuit”, a teleportation-like device which (by remote control) can summon someone from the circuit - Here he summons a beautiful girl named Jessica 6 (Jenny Agutter). She, unfortunately, is not in the mood but happens to be wearing an interesting collar with an ankh pendant hanging from it. Later, at the Sandman headquarters, Logan returns the personal items he gathered from the runner he and Francis killed at the beginning, which includes another ankh, the computer informs him that it is a symbol for an underground railroad ran by a group assisting runners who are trying to reach a safe haven known as “Sanctuary”. Here, the computer assigns Logan a special mission: Find Sanctuary and destroy it. In order to do this, there’s a catch: The computer advances Logan’s life clock to thirty so that he can qualify as a runner (runners are identified by the red blinking light in the palm of their left hand).

Logan is reluctant to accept but has no choice. He confronts Jessica again and before you know it, they’re both on the run, through the domed city to the sewers and to the mysterious caverns beyond. This is a great cult film which became often overshadowed by “Star Wars” which came out a year later. The special effects may look a bit on the cheap side, but as far as entertainment and fun goes, “Logan’s Run” certainly delivers. Also, Jenny Agutter is such a gorgeous babe to watch here. It should also be noted that a remake has been in development hell since 1994. While I am not a huge fan of remakes (many of them stink), I think this film could use one - especially the carousel sequence, picturing what could be done with that today is even scarier than what’s seen in the original here.

Rating: ****

Starring: Duane Jones, Judith O’Dea, Karl Hardman, Marilyn Eastman, Keith Wayne, Judith Ridley, Kyra Schon, and Russell Streiner.

Directed by: George A. Romero

Story:
The story takes place around Daylight Savings time in 1982. Brother and sister, Johnny and Barbara are driving out somewhere in Western Pennsylvania to place new flowers on their father’s grave. Johnny starts teasing his sister who has a certain fear of cemeteries. A pale-faced tall man moves toward them at a snail’s pace as they bicker and tries to attack Barbara.

The man turns out to a reanimated corpse bent on eating their flesh. Johnny wrestles him to the ground and dies, leaving Barbara to fend for herself. She runs off and stumbles across a seemingly abandoned farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. Inside, she finds yet another dead corpse (although not reanimated, this one has been disposed of by someone) and a few more dead guys find their way to the house. In an attempt to flee the shelter, she is saved by Ben who shows up in his pick-up truck and fends off the four or five zombies.

Together, they hold up in the house, which Ben begins to board up with all the wood he can find. They soon discover a few other survivors who are holding up in the basement - A bitter married couple, Harry and Helen Cooper with their unconscious (zombie-bitten) daughter, and a teenage couple Tom and Judy. They find a radio which informs them of a strange mass murder effecting the entire Eastern Seaboard where the unburied and recently dead are returning to life and attacking the living.

Characters:
*Barbra (Judith O’Dea): The lead female protagonist whom loses her brother to the undead.
*Johnny (Russell Streiner): Barbra’s brother who becomes one of the first victims.
*Ben (Duane Jones): The lead male protagonist who saves Barbra’s life just in the nick of time. One of the smartest people in the group.
*Harry Cooper (Karl Hardman): Husband to Helen and father to Karen, he and his family have been hiding in the farmhouse’s cellar the entire time. He turns out to be the most ignorant of the group and the most uncooperative.
*Helen Cooper (Marilyn Eastman): Wife to Harry and mother to Karen, she and her family have been hiding in the farmhouse’s cellar the entire time. She is the complete opposite of her husband.
*Karen Cooper (Kyra Schon): Harry and Helen’s daughter who has been bitten by one of the undead.
*Tom (Keith Wayne): Judy’s boyfriend, the both of them have been hiding in the cellar with the Cooper family.
*Judy (Judith Ridley): Tom’s girlfriend.

Overall:
Director George A. Romero drew some inspiration from Richard Matheson’s novel, “I Am Legend”, where a plague engulfs Los Angeles in the near future, turning everyone into vampire-like creatures, and came up with the skeleton of his first feature film, “Night of the Living Dead”. It is one of the first films in the 60s to use an African-American hero without one drop of racism or the mere mention of race throughout the entire film.

The protagonists battle not only the gathering dead people outside but themselves as well. One half argues that staying in the cellar is the safest course of action while the other half wants to stay above and finish boarding the place up. Little by little, things fall apart and the group gets picked off one by one, partly due to their own arrogance to work together. By the end of the film, the world has already ended for the group inside the farmhouse but as for the virus, we are led to believe that everything is under control as the government and local authorities give the impression that they are on top of the problem. But of course, that’s another story to be continued in the film’s sequel, “Dawn of the Dead”.

Upon release in October of 1968, “Night of the Living Dead” was highly criticized for its explicit content, aside from breaking new ground in filmmaking and the horror/zombie genre, making use of fairly simple special effects (i.e. Bosco Chocolate Syrup for blood, roasted ham for consumed flesh, second hand clothing for costumes, mortician’s wax for zombie make-up). It became known as the catalyst of the contemporary Zombie Apocalypse sub-genre in horror that the world has come to know. Shot on a budget of $114,000, the movie has grossed $12 million domestically and $30 million international after a decade or so of cinematic re-releases. Since its’ release in 1968, the Library of Congress has labelled the film as “historically, culturally or aesthetically important”.

Rating: ****

Starring: Roger Moore, Barbara Bach, Curt Jurgens, Richard Kiel, Caroline Munro, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewelyn, Geoffrey Keen, and Walter Gotell.

Directed by: Lewis Gilbert.

Story:
The story of “The Spy Who Loved Me” has practically nothing to do with the novel by Ian Fleming and is instead focused on a reclusive megalomaniac known as Karl Stromberg - a madman who is hellbent on destroying Planet Earth in return for a new civilization beneath the oceans He plans to do this by capturing Soviet and British nuclear submarines with intentions of having them fire intercontinental missiles at two major cities. 007 joins forces with the gorgeous Russian Agent Anya Amasova in an attempt to stop Stromberg.

Characters:
*James Bond (Roger Moore): M16 agent 007 who is assigned to investigate missing submarines.
*Anya Amasova (Barbara Bach): Agent XXX, a Soviet KGB who is investigating the same case as 007. She falls for Bond not knowing that he unknowingly killed her lover.
*Karl Stromberg (Curt Jurgens): A megalomaniac villain who wants to initiate World War 3 so that he can start a new civilization underwater.
*Jaws (RIchard Kiel): Stromberg’s right hand man who was born with gigantism.
*M (Bernard Lee): Head of M16 Secret Service.
*Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell): M’s secretary.
*Q (Desmond Llewelyn): Bond’s master of gadgets.

Overall:
Roger Moore returns for his third round as James Bond in the franchise’s tenth entry. Also returning is Director Lewis Gilbert, who also directed “You Only Live Twice” starring Sean Connery as James Bond; surprisingly enough, this film depicts a plot that is almost similar.

The plot elements borrow quite a bit from other James Bond films - Destroying mankind with captured nuclear subs and aiming them at major cities was done in “You Only Live Twice” and “Thunderball”, and destroying the human race to start a new civilization was done in “Moonraker” which happened to be the next James Bond film following after this one. On the other hand, “The Spy Who Loved Me” is very sexy, smart, dangerous, and lavishly designed.

It is one of the better Bond films out there and this is Roger Moore at his best as James Bond. Both he and Barbara Bach shine immensely together with their chemistry; and Bach was the Jessica Alba of the 1970s, a true hottie.The gimmicks and sets are the most spectacular seen in the franchise thus yet. The characters appear more realistic than in other Bond chapters, there’s also a minimal amount of slapstick humor used here, just the right touch. It’s nice to know that there other worthwhile films to see in the Summer of 1977 besides “Star Wars”.

In addition, we have two very well-thought villains - The reclusive Karl Stromberg and his tall, gigantic henchman Jaws. Jaws encounters Bond and Anya on several occasions throughout the film, narrowly escaping him each time, until they face off in the film’s explosive and aquatic climax involving submarines, a tanker, Stromberg’s Atlantis hideout, and plenty of water. Gadget seekers will be satisfied with the Espirit car which has aquatic capabilities, making it the best thing to happen since the Aston Martin DB5 in “Goldfinger”. “The Spy Who Loved Me” makes up for the lackluster previous entry that was “The Man With The Golden Gun” and actually makes use of its big budget.

Rating: ****

Starring: George Lazenby, Diana Rigg, Telly Savalas, Gabriele Ferzetti, Ilse Steppat, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, George Baker, Desmond Llewelyn, Angela Scoular, Catherine Schell, and Julie Ege.

Directed by: Peter R. Hunt.

Story:
This time around, James Bond faces Blofeld again, who is this time using a group of brainwashed women, known as his “angels of death”, to unveil a plague to mankind. Meanwhile, Bond falls in love with a woman whom he eventually marries, Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo.

Characters:
*James Bond (George Lazenby): The master of women, gadgets, and adventure although at the hands of a much talented newcomer actor.
*Tracy di Vincenzo (Diana Rigg): Draco’s daughter, a countess who wins over 007’s heart.
*Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Telly Savalas): 007’s nemesis, leader of SPECTRE.
*Marc-Ange Draco (Gabriele Ferzetti): Tracy’s father, owns a major crime syndicate called Union Corse.
*Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat): Blofeld’s number one henchwoman, straight out of Nazi camp.
*M (Bernard Lee): Head of M16 Secret Service.
*Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell): M’s secretary.
*Q (Desmond Llewelyn): Bond’s master of gadgets.

Overall:
The sixth James Bond film is the only one to star the most underrated Bond of all time, George Lazenby. After “You Only Live Twice”, Sean Connery quit playing the role and came back one more time after “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” for the follow-up, “Diamonds Are Forever”. This is the second film in what is known as The Blofeld Trilogy (”You Only Live Twice”, “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”, and “Diamonds Are Forever”).

The first half is a bit slow at first and involves a lot of build up - Bond meets and begins to fall for Contessa while he tracks Blofeld down to his new base/observatory located in the Swiss Alps, where he eventually goes undercover as a geneaologist. In one shocking and somewhat creepy moment, Bond’s cover is blown, leading to an action-packed second half with plenty of hair-raising moments and sequences that aren’t that over the top and are quite believable. There’s plenty of ski chases, fights in the snow, and even a jaw-dropping avalanche sequence.

James and Tracy’s (Contessa) romance is quite believable and seem like a match made in heaven, she’s no damsel in distress, she’s got as much balls as 007 himself. Once they get rid of the bad guys (or rather, just about), they get married and almost make it to a happy ending up until the final moment which delivers a huge emotional and heart-wrenching blow - Their love began as a payment and concluded with a holy sacrament, only to be killed by the conventions it opposed.

This film is an underrated and overlooked gem in the Bond franchise, mostly due to the fact that Sean Connery is nowhere to be found. George Lazenby does a realistically amazing job as 007, not only does he project the confidence that makes him who he is, but he shows us in many scenes that he can be vulnerable and jittery at times in the utmost dangerous of situations that he encounters. It’s a pity that he didn’t get a second round at the title character.

Peter R. Hunt directs this time around, whom was previously a film editor as well as a second unit director on the previous chapters. While it wasn’t as lucrative as “You Only Live Twice” at the box office, “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, it did go on to gross $87 million worldwide, presenting with very positive reviews, and becoming one of the highest grossing films (worldwide) in 1969.

Rating: ****

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Carl Weathers, Burt Young, Burgess Meredith, Tony Burton, Joe Spinell, and Sylvia Meals.

Directed by: Sylvester Stallone.

Story:
The film opens with the last round of the original fight in “Rocky”, resulting in both Rocky and Apollo obtaining several devastating injuries. Apollo is announced as the winner by split decision, but retains the championship based on points. The two fighters are transported to the hospital where a mob of reporters hassle them. Meanwhile, Apollo is furious with Rocky who is the first opponent to go the distance with him in a fight, anxious for another chance to knock him out. Later that night, Rocky visits Apollo in his hospital room and asks if he gave him his best, to which Apollo responds Yeah. Rocky decides there won’t be a rematch and announces his retirement from boxing due to his medical surgery.

Released from the hospital, the story builds upon the lives of the characters that were introduced in the last film. Rocky and Adrian spend some of their wealth, buy a car, some nice clothes, they get married, and make a baby as well. Meanwhile, a recovering Apollo Creed receives a lot of disappointing fan mail degrading his role in the fight between him and Balboa. This leads to Apollo challenging Rocky for a rematch. Rocky, eventually, goes for it. But at the same time, not all is well with Adrian’s pregnancy and she slips into a coma as he trains for the rematch fight.

Characters:
*Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone): The former loan shark enforcer turned heavyweight champion thanks to an exchange of cuts and bruises from his previous fight with Apollo.
*Adrian Pennino-Balboa (Talia Shire): Rocky’s romantic interest, a shy pet store clerk, whom he marries this time around and has a baby with.
*Paulie Pennino (Burt Young): Adrian’s brother and Rocky’s best friend; works in a meat-packing plant.
*Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers): Heavyweight champion until Rocky knocked his lights out in the previous fight, now he wants a rematch.
*Mickey Goldmill (Burgess Meredith): Former bantamweight fighter from the 20s turned trainer/manager for Rocky.
*Tony ‘Duke’ Evers (Tony Burton): Apollo’s trainer.
*Mary Anne Creed (Sylvia Meals): Apollo’s wife who tries to deter him from the rematch.

Overall:
The story continues in “Rocky II” and this time the screenwriter and main actor himself directs - Sylvester Stallone. Also returning from the original is Carl Weathers as Apollo, Burgess Meredith as Mickey, Burt Young as Paulie, Talia Shire as Adrian, Joe Spinell as Gazzo, Tony Burton as Duke, and Sylvia Meals as Apollo’s wife Mary-Anne. “Rocky II” tells the story of a rematch between Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed, following ten months after the previous up to the new fight.

In “Rocky II”, the story does indeed continue as the film’s tagline tells us and the story itself can be regarded as one of the most successful and well-written sequels ever made that is certainly up-to-par with “The Godfather, Part II”, “Dawn of the Dead”, “Aliens”, and “Terminator 2: Judgment Day”.

Rating: ****

Starring: Garret Dillahunt, Michael Bowen, Joshua Cox, Riki Lindhome, Aaron Paul, Sara Paxton, Monica Potter, Tony Goldwyn, Martha MacIsaac, and Spencer Treat Clark.

Directed by: Dennis Illiadis.

Story:
Remake of the 1972 film of the same name. The parents of a raped daughter, who was shot and left for dead, act out their revenge on the four rapists that have taken shelter in their very own home.

Characters:
*Krug (Garret Dillahunt): Leader of the gang.
*Sadie (Riki Lindhome): Krug’s bisexual girlfriend.
*Francis (Aaron Paul): Krug’s brother.
*Mari Collingwood (Sara Paxton): Main character/victim of the flick; John and Emma’s daughter.
*Emma Collingwood (Monica Potter): Mari’s mother.
*Paige (Martha MacIsaac): Mari’s best friend.
*Justin (Spencer Treat Clark): Krug’s son.
*John Collingwood (Tony Goldwyn): Mari’s father.

Overall:
“The Last House On The Left” has been the second remake so far this year to surprise me and blow my fears away (the first remake being “Friday The 13th”). I believe having the original director return as a producer here may have helped out significantly in terms of how this film turned out.

The remake is basically the same story as the original except it builds upon it much like the remake for “Friday The 13th” did. First of all, the annoying music in the original which did not match what was going on at all is now gone, thank God. The finale is more action-packed and extended as well.

Many of the improvements is noticable within the characters. Krug’s girlfriend, Sadie, is depicted as a far more fierce villain; Mari’s father, John, appears more middle-aged here than his elder counterpart in the original and puts up more of a fight as well; Krug’s son, Justin, shows more depth and is more likable here. The only problem I have with the new cast is with the two girls - Mari is not attractive whatsoever, the original Mari was beautiful therefore making her more believable as a rape victim; then there’s her friend, Paige, who actually looks like Mari from the original film (looks like the casting director got it all backwards if you ask me).

Overall, “The Last House On The Left” deserves to sit up there with all of the other worthy remakes including the brand new “Friday The 13th”. Now, let’s hope 2009 is a good year for remakes, then next year, we can start working our way towards some original ideas.

Rating: ****

Starring: Derek Mears, Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Aaron Yoo, Amanda Righetti, Nana Visitor, Jonathon Sadowski, Ben Feldman, Nick Mennell, America Olivo, Willa Ford, Ryan Hansen, Juilianna Guill, Arien Escarpeta, and Travis Van Winkle.

Directed by: Marcus Nispel.

Story:
About 30 years ago, young Jason Voorhees witnesses the beheading of his mother by a camp counselor who was the last survivor of Mrs. Voorhees’ murderous rampage at Camp Crystal Lake. Now, in present day, a group of teens vacation nearby Crystal Lake in search of weed that was planted in the surrounding wood areas. The pack is killed by Jason, all except for Whitney, who is kept prisoner beneath the campsite due to the resemblance between her and his mother.

A month later, Whitney’s brother, Clay, has been searching endlessly for her. While searching near Camp Crystal Lake, he runs into some trouble with Trent who is driving his friends to his summer vacation cabin nearby. Jason Voorhees hunts them down one by one as Clay continues to search for his missing sister with the help of Trent’s girlfriend who is falling for him.

Characters:
*Jason Voorhees (Derek Mears): The looming and iconic hockey-mask wearing murder who needs no introduction.
*Mrs. Voorhees (Nana Visitor): Jason’s mother who makes a brief cameo at the very beginning.
*Wade (Jonathon Sadowski): A nerdy GPS-using, know-it-all geek who is very well-informed about Camp Crystal Lake.
*Richie (Ben Feldman): Wade’s buddy who doesn’t believe in the scary stories that he shares with him but does share the same desire to find weed in the woods and get rich off of it.
*Mike (Nick Mennell): A friend of Wade and Richie.
*Whitney (Amanda Righetti): Mike’s girlfriend who goes missing after her five friends get killed by Jason in the beginning.
*Amanda (America Olivo): Richie’s freaky girlfriend.
*Trent (Travis Van Winkle): Leader of the new pack of teens who are introduced after the first batch is killed. He’s the a-hole of the pack.
*Jenna (Danielle Panabaker): Trent’s far more sympathetic and caring girlfriend who seems to be more interested in Clay.
*Chewie (Aaron Yoo): An Asian dude whose nick name is the work wizard and that’s not just because he masturbates, according to him that is.
*Chelsea (Willa Ford): Nolan’s girlfriend.
*Nolan (Ryan Hansen): Trent’s best buddy and Chelsea’s boyfriend.
*Bree (Julianna Guill): A freaky white girl whom Trent cheats on Jenna with.
*Lawrence (Arlen Escarpeta): A funny, down-for-anything African-American dude whom makes his presence well-aware to everyone and is not afraid to speak the truth in a humorous way.
*Clay (Jared Padalecki): Whitney’s brother who is in search of his missing sister.

Overall:
When I first heard that this was going to be remade, rebooted, or whatever the heck you want to call it, I just wanted to smack myself in the head and say “Oh no, not again”, then I watched the trailer and thought to myself, “Typical, so sad”. But you know what? This remake totally surprised me. I think this remake could stand right up there with the new ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ films that came out in this decade, is it no wonder that they were also directed by Marcus Nispel who directed this?

If you’re looking for some new twist on the slasher genre, “Friday The 13th” doesn’t offer any of the sort, instead it accepts what it is and lets it be clearly known - Ridiculousness, death, dismemberment, teenage sex, party animals, and the like. That’s exactly what the franchise contained. This remake contains a huge amount of nostalgia and references to other films. Mind you, this is a remake of Parts I-IV in the “Friday The 13th” franchise, not just the first one.

There appears to have been some effort put into the death of the characters as many of them are quite impressive. They even put enough effort to make some of these faces in the cast stand out. The script adds a black and Asian character to keep up to date with the ‘movies of the millennium’. The plot of a brother searching for his sister is well written, executed, and adds a little more juice to this ‘Friday The 13th’ story to make it stand out.

Jason is now able to run, not as fast as the zombies from the “Dawn of the Dead” remake, but enough to make him more menacing and scary; he also has a somewhat sympathetic backstory now which doesn’t soften him in any way whatsoever. Also notable is the fact that he slowly obtains his hockey mask as the film progresses. The film has an open-ended climax, of course (what did you expect?) and, while I wasn’t left with a sense of “you’ve got to be kidding me”, I was left wondering how on Earth they plan to make one, two, five, heck even ten MORE films in this “rebooted” franchise and have them be as good as this one or the old ones?

Rating: ****

Preview Unavailable

Starring: Peter Sellers, Christopher Plummer, Catherine Schell, Herbert Lom, Peter Arne, Peter Jeffrey, Gregoire Asian, David Lodge, Graham Stark, Eric Pohlmann, Andre Maranne, Burt Kwouk, Victor Spinetti, John Bluthal, Mike Grady, and Peter Jones.

Directed by: Blake Edwards.

Story:
Inspector Clouseau’s clumsiness has demoted him to a regular police officer by his boss Dreyfus who now despises Clouseau obsessively. When the Pink Panther diamond is stolen again in the fictional Middle Eastern nation of Lugash, the French government insists that Dreyfus reinstates Clouseau as detective and assigns the case. Clouseau soon discovers that his arch nemesis, The Phantom (aka Sir Charles Lytton), may once again be up to his old bag of tricks.

Characters:
*Inspector Jacques Clouseau (Peter Sellers): The bumbling detective, demoted to police officer but then reinstated as detective.
*Sir Charles Lytton (Christopher Plummer): The notorious Phantom, Clouseau’s arch-nemesis, returns once again as the thief responsible for the pink panther diamond’s disappearance.
*Lady Claudine Lytton (Catherine Schell): Sir Charles’ wife.
*Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus (Herbert Lom): Clouseau’s boss who despises him to the point of total insanity.
*Col. Sharky (Peter Arne): A Col. in the Lugash police who turns out to have a totally different agenda.
*Cato Fong (Burt Kwouk): Clouseau’s martial arts servant (and valet in this one).

Overall:
Finally, the original ‘Pink Panther’ characters (Chief Inspector Commissioner Dreyfus, Cato Fong, Sir Charles Lytton aka The Phantom, and of course Inspector Clouseau played by the original actor) return for this fourth film in the series. The previous entry, “Inspector Clouseau” delivered us a subpar script with minimal laughs, a different supervisor for Clouseau, and a different actor in the title role instead of Sellers. Not anymore. Blake Edwards returns as well and brings the franchise back to where it rightfully was at the end of “A Shot In The Dark”.

Edwards made all the right choices to save the franchise from 1968’s “Inspector Clouseau”, him directing, bringing back Sellers, Lom, Kwouk, and a hilarious script that involves the missing pink panther diamond once again; Blake Edwards certainly went back to the series’ roots with this one. If you don’t want to be disappointed, I’d suggest skipping over “Inspector Clouseau” and watching this one after “A Shot In The Dark”, trust me, you really won’t be missing much at all.

Rating: ****

Starring: Sandra Cassel, Lucy Grantham, David Hess, Fred J. Lincoln, Jeramie Rain, Marc Sheffler, Richard Towers, Cynthia Carr, Marshall Anker, Martin Kove, Ada Washington, and Ray Edwards.

Directed by: Wes Craven.

Story:
Two teenage girls head out on the town for a concert. Along the way, they hear a radio report concerning a pack of four criminals who escaped from prison. On the way back, they attempt to score some marijuana as they stroll through the city streets - it is then that they meet one of the criminals who leads them back to the apartment they live in, trapping them there.

Characters:
*Mari Collingwood (Sandra Cassel): The main character who’s about to turn 17.
*Phyllis Stone (Lucy Grantham): Mari’s best friend.
*Krug Stillo (David Hess): Leader of the escaped criminals.
*Fred “Weasel” Podowski (Fred J. Lincoln): Krug’s right hand man.
*Sadie (Jeramie Rain): Krug’s bisexual girlfriend.
*Junior Stillo (Marc Sheffler): Krug’s teenage son.
*Dr. John Collingwood (Richard Towers): Mari’s father.
*Estelle Collingwood (Cynthia Carr): Mari’s mother.
*Sheriff (Marshall Anker): A fat tub of lard who takes up too much weight on a truck full of chickens.
*Deputy (Martin Kove): The Sheriff’s right hand man who’s in much better shape but can’t remember to refuel a police car when needed.

Overall:
Wes Craven’s film debut, which was influenced by Vietnam War news footage, was highly controversial for the amount of graphic violence it contained and let alone, the nature of the psychotic and sadistic villains themselves. The film is classic exploitative trash as well as a bold artistic statement. It’s one of those movies that stands in the same line as “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” (1974) and “Night of the Living Dead” (1968).

Also keep in mind, this is a horror movie but not in the sense of Freddy, Jason, or some supernatural force running amuck; it is purely psychopathic criminals doing the killing here. Wes Craven’s script does a great job of getting you involved with the two main girls and their friendship, enough for you to care for them and strongly route for them to escape in one piece. Unfortunately, that’s not the way things panned out for them - then again, not along after their deaths, the villains’ car breaks down right outside of one of the girls’ house and they have no choice but to con their way into spending the night with the parents before getting a lift in the morning. At that point, you start routing for the girl’s parents to give the criminals a taste of their own medicine.

“The Last House On The Left” is a very effective thriller that will constantly keep you interested, right down to the final fifteen minutes. The only downside to this movie is that most of the soundtrack sucks and doesn’t match up with the atmosphere and themes it presents, a lot of it sounds like something out of some southern Texas comedy yet this is not a comedy although it does have a few scenes with attempts at humor. Now it’s only a question of whether or not the 2009 remake is any better.

Rating: ****